we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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