Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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