I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Randomize
