So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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