that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
