Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
