would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
