yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize