Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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