She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize