He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
