evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
wanna go halves on a baby?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
