road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
