We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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