Just fell off a train. Bad.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
