I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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