Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
