Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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