glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
