pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
