i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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