I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
