I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
