This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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