that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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