You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
that may or may not have been my penis.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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