i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
