I must be too annoying 4 u.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
