Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
