Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I stole a fireplace last night.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
