ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
