It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize