Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
