the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
