youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
