no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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