i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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