Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize