rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
