you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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