so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
