I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
