my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
