that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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