Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
