I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
