So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
