i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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