How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
there's paper in my vomit.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
