There is no way he is gay with that hair.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
