other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
How external is "for external use only"?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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