just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
