I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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