meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Randomize
