You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
