I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
