well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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