I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
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