Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
