WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
