I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
