McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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