girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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